I entered a lot in the Lulus' #luluspartyperfect contest. I did not win but that is okay you are not going to win everything in life, and besides there will be plenty more sweepstakes to do. It can be discouraging at times because I know that other bloggers have more experience or better clothes but whatever. I wish sometimes blogs could go back to just being a hobby because now everyone wants to make money. Everyone wants to be a Fashion Blogger. I wish people would go back to being how we used to be just writing and talking about an outfit. I am not going to lie I could definitely use money to help me pay for college but still I think you do need to have fun. Lately, I have been putting a lot of pressure on myself to make money and to get the most followers so I can get a sponsor. I find myself wanting the success too fast to the point that I probably won't be able to experience the struggle. No one wants to struggle but in order to get somewhere you have to struggle first.
Fashion Blogging is so competitive now to the point where I sometimes find myself wanting to give up. Like why am I even doing this anymore? No one is reading my stuff or I often say "I might as well just give this to someone else who already has like 444k followers". Then I have to realize that the more I spend time struggling and really being at the bottom it causes me as a believer to depend on God more, and it also prepares me more for life at the top. I am not saying people like Aimee Song did not struggle (Love her by the way), but what I am saying is struggling right now is humbling me even the more. Knowing how hard this is will only constantly remind me that I did work hard but it was only through God that I got so far. I do not ever want to forget Him because He is the only one keeping me. For me I feel like making money was too much of a top priority for me. I was too anxious for everything, and I realize that I need to chill. Just have fun while I am blogging and if no one ever reads my blog whatever I won't stop doing what I love! Fashion blogging just like singing, and painting is another platform of self expression for me. I was so worried and focused on making money because I wanted an expensive camera, and my own domain. Still, I should not worry if people do not like my photos that is their problem, because I do not have the funds right now for a 1000 dollar camera. So if you are a true follower and fan then you are going to struggle with me. If you are not then I can direct you to the big name Fashion Blogs like BlondeSalad and Song Of Style. It is true about this generation our attention spans are so short that we barely take the time to get to know someone. Like how I can post this and since I do not look like a big name fashion blogger then I easily get passed by. I am just a Fashion Blogger and a young woman of God. I am just Makayla and if you cannot accept those things about me then so be it leave. Obviously, my fashion blog is not for you. I am going to have to work my butt off and struggle, but who cares? Like J.Cole said, "There's beauty in the struggle and ugliness in the success." That is one of my favorite quote because that one line speaks volumes. The most beautiful part of life is the struggle because you're authentic and if you are a Christian you are depending on God. When we get that little taste of success we completely throw God away and boost up our egos. I always pray that I never become prideful no matter how much success I get from God. I never want to be prideful and act like I am better than anyone. I just want to be authentic and live a lifestyle where I can travel every once in awhile.
So no I did not win that contest, and yes at times I can be a little too anxious. This scripture says: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7