Style Diary: Fashion Blogger Who Paints on Jackets

Art, fashion, writing, and music are my passions. For some reason though I have always loved art and fashion more than singing. I think the reason why I love art and fashion more, is because no one can control or tell me what to do. Also, there are no limits and it's not competitive. Whereas, in singing someone always wants to be heard and be the best. As a Christian we are supposed to be singing for the glory of God, but sometimes that is not always the case and people still focus on being heard by man instead of by God. 

Painting on clothes is so much fun to me because it helps me feel different. It helps me stand out as an individual. I was taught to be unique, and that is what painting on my clothes helps me be. I want to encourage others to stand out and do what they love as well. As an artist I think I see the world differently then others at times. A lot of people won't understand or get my art but that is okay because art is a personal thing. It is very intimate and something that you are choosing to share with the world. 

I have been painting on my clothes since the beginning of this year until now, and I think I am going to continue painting on my clothes. 

January 2016:

"I think true success comes when you no longer care about 'stunting' on your haters, because you are too busy to care."

 "Many people are not going to like your designs or they may try to down you, but keep moving forward."

 "If I would have never prayed and served God I would not be where I am today."

 July 2016: 

 "If I had listened to everyone who told me I wasn't pretty enough, thin enough, good enough, fashionable enough, or who told me I shouldn't have painted on my clothes, that my coat is ugly, or anything else I would not be here. All the glory goes to God."

PSALMS 139:13-14

DIY ALERT: How to Create Your Own Graffiti Art Jacket and Accessories to Match!

Hello, all of my Fancy Mouse readers! Last weekend I actually attended the Simply Stylist Fashion conference at the Dana Hotel and Spa. I also came up with a stellar outfit that I am going to explain to you (in writing because it's that simple) how to create your own graffiti/ Jean Michel Basquiat inspired look. 

For the Jacket: 

This jacket was inexpensive and came from a vendor on Aliexpress. What I did was buy the jacket and then re-tweaked it with my paint set since I am a painter. It was a blast! Here is the link to get the jacket. 

Here are a few tips when you receive this jacket:

1. MAKE IT YOUR OWN!

Yes it is already "designed" but do not be afraid to add a few more splatters, or sew some new things on it. It is a very plain jacket that can bring the inner artist out of you.

2. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO STRUT YOUR STUFF

Being fierce can be scary at first but just be you! Some people may not like you or your outfit, and that is okay. Tell them "oh well" and keep moving. As long as your heels are high, and your jacket is making top designers ask you where on earth did you get that super hot jacket, then no one else's opinion should matter. 

3. TAKE A RISK

A lot of people think fashion is just looking cute or wearing high fashion when really it is an ART. One of the things I enjoy is turning my art pieces into wearable art. 

For the Shoes: 

Faux fur high heel shoes have a special place in my heart. I basically created my own shoes because I am a broke college student saving for a car. So if you're a college student that is still trying to look fashionable but you have bills to pay then listen up (well read up)

How to make your own FAUX FUR HIGH HEELS:

1. Get a pair of old or new (I chose old) heels:

These were actually my old prom shoes, and I decided they needed a new classy identity.

2. You can choose to recycle some fabric (what I did) or buy some fabric:

This was an old furry black purse that was just sitting around. Next I just took to some scissors measured (not mathematically) what parts I needed to clip off. After that I half glue gun and half super glued the fabric down. 

For the Purse: 

After I finished my shoes I noticed I still had fabric left and paint. My purse is a thrift store bought bag. 

1. Buy a new or used purse

2. Splatter paint, sew new decals on it, etc.

For splattered paint it took all night to dry and it gets messy

3. I hot glue gunned and super glued the fur at the bottom

And there you have it a new super High fashion Street Style Outfit

Full outfit here:

Urban Oufitters Junk Food Basquiat Crown Tee, $28

Retro City Suglasses Clear Aviators in Gold, $8.99

I hope you found this written tutorial successful and if you feel like this is too challenging then feel free to contact me via email (colemakayla37@gmail.com) to make you one. 

PSALMS 139

Mommy's Closet and A Fashion Blogger's Rite of Passage

Mom's Closet by colemakayla featuring short skirts

Faux fur coat / IRO short skirt, $710 / Schutz leather sandals / A V Max long necklace / Dutch Basics golden earring / Our Legacy mens silk shirt, $185 / Chanel lipstick



If you ask any girl or woman where she gets her style inspiration from they would probably list their favorite designers or where the things that impacted them personally. Yet, if you really think about it every fashionista was once a child or is probably growing up. A part that is necessary to growing up is fashion blogger's rite of passage. Going to your mother's closet and playing dress up around the age of 4 and 5 can signify the beginning and birth of a true fashionista. Seeing items that are signify your mother and the things that she has been through. The scent on her clothing; expensive Chanel No. 5 and classic Dior. Then once you are done with her closet you go to her vanity to look at all the makeup utensils she uses. When you look on her vanity you see everything on there from the professional brushes she uses to the bronzers.

Looking through a mom's closet can be very enlightening and actually save tons of money. In today's fashion world almost every decade is in style and who else room to go to then your mommy's? (I sometimes even go as far as to my grandmother's closet). Sometimes your mom's closet is the most convenient because instead of always spending more money on clothes that are being re-modernize why not get the authentic thing from her closet or the thrift store.

Clothes have such a deeper meaning to them than just how cute you look and a self expression. In earlier decades clothes were actually designed to last which is why a lot of old have such great quality. There's something great about feeling vintage clothes especially from mom's closet. the velvety-ness, the scent of her perfume, or even the story behind it. It gives of nostalgic memories of when you were younger and in her arms, but at the same time it shows that the baby bird has finally grown up. the baby bird has finally blossomed into a strong bird like her mother.






NOTE:
*So I really apologize because I got my silky shirt from my mommy dearest closet, my real leather skirt from a thrift store those places are the best!), my shoes are from the thrift store as well, my bag from Love Culture, and my faur fur two toned jacket from Choies!*


Vintage Rite of Passage Look Book: 

Fashion Bloggers:How to Stay Inspired Even When It Gets Tough

Sometimes the going can get tough for a lot of people. No matter what happens though you still have to push threw, but there are some days when no one really feels like going. Being a fashion blogger can be especially tough, because actually it's expensive. Any business you want to grow you have to spend money for it to increase or grow. If your goal is to make money from your blog then you must spend money to make money. Nothing is handed to you you have to work for it. Sometimes as fashion bloggers we might want to give up because there are so many fashion bloggers now and days and you might be feeling like what's the point? The point it that you're doing what you love. Just make sure you're not another fashion blog make sure yours is different from others. So here are a few tips from me to stay encouraged on your blogging journey:

FOCUS ON YOU!

A lot of other sites say, "network with other bloggers, and visit their pages," that's all fine and dandy, but don't compare your blog if you know you're not at their level yet. Focus on your blog and how you are going to make yours stand out. It can become discouraging (trust me I know) constantly looking at top fashion bloggers fashion blogs. They did not get their over night so don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. Just be you, and success with come naturally.

DO THE OPPOSITE OF EVERYONE ELSE

I know this can be challenging but look deep into yourself, and see what you have to offer that others don't. Don't just do what every other Fashion blogger or blogger is doing. Yes, everyone loves fashion but what more do you have to offer than just fashion? Do you paint? Do you dance? Write? Have a book club?

DO NETWORK AND TRY COLLABORATIONS

I know that this sounds like I am contradicting myself, but what I mean here is to still network just do not make that your entire focus. So still network, because you never know if you'll become close friends with another fashion blogger. Then after you become friends or meet you can try to set up a fashion blogger duo or do a collaboration on something. You never know what others have to offer until you meet others.

THE PROCESS WILL BE LONG BUT IT'S WORTH IT

Not everyone will be the next Aimee Song or Anna Wintour, but what counts is that you did what you were passionate about. Sometimes we want to rush our success, but the main thing is that it is worth it whether or not you are successful. It can be a learning experience both ways: if you made it and if you did not. making money on blogs can  sometimes take longer for others because some do not have the funds to buy all the things that come with a fashion blog, and some do. The road might be long and hard, but if you keep working at it you will get there. 

Stay encouraged and keep pushing because it can get hard, but just stay patient. 

PSALMS 139

Style Tips: Four Big BRA-BLEMS and How to Fix Them

Bra-blems... we've all had them! And if we are being really honest I have never had a fit me in my entire life until I turned 20 (this year). I mean what girl or woman hasn't had problems with her bra. I am not the ideal size (whatever that is). I am actually quite busty ,and a lot of times it is hard for women like me to find a bra that fits or when we do they have ran out of our size. Every stylish outfit starts with great undergarments, which in this case are bras. How can we have great undergarments when we have size problems, bras riding up, slipping straps, straps digging in, quadboobs, side boobs, and cup gaping? This article is going to help combat those issues and even open your bra shopping horizons to a great store named ThirdLove. 

1. Bra-Blem: Bra Riding Up Your Back

Is your bra always riding up your back? 

The problem is that the bra size is too big for you. The reason your bra might be doing this is because your breasts are probably pretty large and maybe even heavy. Which then causes your bra to ride up your back. Another reason could be because you might be wider at waist. Lastly, the curve of your spine makes it hard for the bra to stay in its place.

So how do you solve this?

By buying a smaller bra size! Yep, it's time to go to a store like Victoria's Secret or ThirdLove. 

2. Breast Tissue by armpits are bulging out

If you're like me you hate what I call underarm fat! So when your bra makes it even more visible when you have your clothes on it just makes you mad. 

The main reason for this is that you are wearing the wrong bra style! So honestly, it is time to get a new one, because you don't want to mess a perfectly cute blouse or crop top with armpit fat being totally visible. 

So how do you solve this? 

Herroom talks about maybe looking for a bra with taller sides or for bustier women to even consider going up a cup size which will ultimately cover the extra breast tissue. 

3. Underwire Bras-- "Oh Boy!"

Ok, I hate to admit it but I love underwire bras especially from Pink and/or Victoria's Secret. They hurt and poke me yet I still choose to wear them. I know for a fact that I am not the only woman who loves to wear them regardless of the pain. I mean, pretty hurts right? Um, no! 

Underwire bras poking you means that you're probably short and petite. Still, that's not the only reason it could also be because you have a short torso or higher breasts. Which then causes the underwire to poke you in your armpit.

So how do we fix this Bra-blem?

Try buying a bra that doesn't cover your whole bra. Try something with shorter wires which doesn't hurt you as much. 

4. Sagging Breasts

There is not a woman in the world that does not hate this bra-blem. I mean you go to a store and buy a bra that only makes your breasts look worse than before. Let's explore how to fix this problem when searching for the perfect bra. 

Bra-blem Solution...

This means that your bra does not have a lot of support and/or the band size is too big. Or it could just mean that you have heavy breasts. Herroom talks about getting a bra with great support. This means buying a 3-section cup bra with support panels, a band all the way around the bottom of the bra, and with 3 or more hooks in the back. 

As women of different shapes and sizes we need to learn more about what types of bras and clothes fit us. Yes, a lot of people desire the hourglass figure because that's what's trending. Still, in reality we all are unique and that's what makes us special as women.Also head over to ThirdLove to find the perfect bra for you. Be sure to use the promo code BRABLEMS at the checkout to get 15% off your order  Please comment if you have any other solutions to these bra-blems! Here are a few more tips from ThirdLove: 

Style Tips: Four Big BRA-BLEMS and How to Fix Them

Bra-blems... we've all had them! And if we are being really honest I have never had a fit me in my entire life until I turned 20 (this year). I mean what girl or woman hasn't had problems with her bra. I am not the ideal size (whatever that is). I am actually quite busty ,and a lot of times it is hard for women like me to find a bra that fits or when we do they have ran out of our size. Every stylish outfit starts with great undergarments, which in this case are bras. How can we have great undergarments when we have size problems, bras riding up, slipping straps, straps digging in, quadboobs, side boobs, and cup gaping? This article is going to help combat those issues and even open your bra shopping horizons to a great store named ThirdLove. 

1. Bra-Blem: Bra Riding Up Your Back

Is your bra always riding up your back? 

The problem is that the bra size is too big for you. The reason your bra might be doing this is because your breasts are probably pretty large and maybe even heavy. Which then causes your bra to ride up your back. Another reason could be because you might be wider at waist. Lastly, the curve of your spine makes it hard for the bra to stay in its place.

So how do you solve this?

By buying a smaller bra size! Yep, it's time to go to a store like Victoria's Secret or ThirdLove. 

2. Breast Tissue by armpits are bulging out

If you're like me you hate what I call underarm fat! So when your bra makes it even more visible when you have your clothes on it just makes you mad. 

The main reason for this is that you are wearing the wrong bra style! So honestly, it is time to get a new one, because you don't want to mess a perfectly cute blouse or crop top with armpit fat being totally visible. 

So how do you solve this? 

Herroom talks about maybe looking for a bra with taller sides or for bustier women to even consider going up a cup size which will ultimately cover the extra breast tissue. 

3. Underwire Bras-- "Oh Boy!"

Ok, I hate to admit it but I love underwire bras especially from Pink and/or Victoria's Secret. They hurt and poke me yet I still choose to wear them. I know for a fact that I am not the only woman who loves to wear them regardless of the pain. I mean, pretty hurts right? Um, no! 

Underwire bras poking you means that you're probably short and petite. Still, that's not the only reason it could also be because you have a short torso or higher breasts. Which then causes the underwire to poke you in your armpit.

So how do we fix this Bra-blem?

Try buying a bra that doesn't cover your whole bra. Try something with shorter wires which doesn't hurt you as much. 

4. Sagging Breasts

There is not a woman in the world that does not hate this bra-blem. I mean you go to a store and buy a bra that only makes your breasts look worse than before. Let's explore how to fix this problem when searching for the perfect bra. 

Bra-blem Solution...

This means that your bra does not have a lot of support and/or the band size is too big. Or it could just mean that you have heavy breasts. Herroom talks about getting a bra with great support. This means buying a 3-section cup bra with support panels, a band all the way around the bottom of the bra, and with 3 or more hooks in the back. 

As women of different shapes and sizes we need to learn more about what types of bras and clothes fit us. Yes, a lot of people desire the hourglass figure because that's what's trending. Still, in reality we all are unique and that's what makes us special as women.Also head over to ThirdLove to find the perfect bra for you. Be sure to use the promo code BRABLEMS at the checkout to get 15% off your order  Please comment if you have any other solutions to these bra-blems! Here are a few more tips from ThirdLove: 

New Challenge on Healthiness and The Park

Lately, I have been trying to pull off the athleisure look and still maintain my high fashion appearance. The temperature finally has raised in Chicago, so now I think I will be more motivated to work out. My outfit here is pretty cheap. I just wanted to show you guys my athletic look. Since everyone I know and some I come in contact with seems to think that I dress up all the time I chose something different. I think when trying to be healthy focus on how you eat, and your activity. My goal is to just be healthy and toned.I really do not feel like trying to lose more weight will make me any happier than I am right now. Sometimes losing weight does not always make you happy it's the process doing it that matters. I had a great time with my amazing photographer and roommate Latifah. The park was really a state of mind. I was happy yet I wanted to work out which is a good sign because usually I do not like working out at all. 

 Still, after the park my roomie, and I made healthy smoothies. The ingredients are very simple: A little pinch of spinach, about 10 green grapes, one whole banana, three kiwis, and half of an avocado. Smoothies have always been one of my favorite things to indulge in, because they are simple. You just blend away and you have a great healthy meal. Well, I think that is it for now see ya FancyMouseketeers!

New Challenge on Healthiness and The Park

Lately, I have been trying to pull off the athleisure look and still maintain my high fashion appearance. The temperature finally has raised in Chicago, so now I think I will be more motivated to work out. My outfit here is pretty cheap. I just wanted to show you guys my athletic look. Since everyone I know and some I come in contact with seems to think that I dress up all the time I chose something different. I think when trying to be healthy focus on how you eat, and your activity. My goal is to just be healthy and toned.I really do not feel like trying to lose more weight will make me any happier than I am right now. Sometimes losing weight does not always make you happy it's the process doing it that matters. I had a great time with my amazing photographer and roommate Latifah. The park was really a state of mind. I was happy yet I wanted to work out which is a good sign because usually I do not like working out at all. 

 Still, after the park my roomie, and I made healthy smoothies. The ingredients are very simple: A little pinch of spinach, about 10 green grapes, one whole banana, three kiwis, and half of an avocado. Smoothies have always been one of my favorite things to indulge in, because they are simple. You just blend away and you have a great healthy meal. Well, I think that is it for now see ya FancyMouseketeers!

Art: Why You Shouldn't Care if Some People Do Not Get Your Art

I am an artist with many mediums. I paint, draw, sing, dance (even though I am not great at it), write/journal, and blog. Those are the things I consider art. Anything where I am creating something from scratch, but for right now I am going to focus on the general art. Which is painting, drawing, etc. Lately, I have been making great out of the box art. That is my style. I love painting on clothes, because it makes me feel like an individual. My mother raised me to be be different and not be a follower, but a leader. So whatever I do I make sure I make it me. I make everything scream Makayla. 

As an artist and fashionista I have to have a voice. My outlets give me a voice that I would not have if I was not a jack of all trades. Art is something that society has been trying to figure out for many years. We still have the questions: who is to say what art is? What defines art? Who makes art art? We all wonder these questions. We all have our own opinions and views when it comes to art. A lot of artists do things that the regular human mind just does not get. Not saying that they are dumb or slow it's just art is deeper than just an image. People think that when they see art they are just supposed to get art. People even pretend to understand art like Monet said. There's really no use to pretending you either get it or you don't. When people think of art they are thinking of a painting, or a realist drawing. When in reality, there are so many more mediums and wider canvases than just a regular canvas. 

My art is whatever I want it to be just like life is. Life is what you make it. Art is also that for me. Art is what you want it to be, so if people cannot understand your concept then move on, because it is not for people to understand. I have a bad habit of asking people about their opinion on my hair, face, photos, and art. I guess it stems from my own insecurities and I feel the need to validate myself based on other's opinions. Yet, I am here today to say that I no longer need or want to need people's validation on my art or anything else. I also think that you or whoever is reading this should not want that either. 

"Art is complex in the sense that it is simplistic to understand."

 Some people will always be negative and try to bring you down as a young artist. My mother always tells me that I cannot listen to everyone. I am starting to see that is very true. Some people are just jealous or haters, because they cannot do what you can do. Do not feed into people's negativity. Treat people with kindness no matter how they treat you. Some people think that they need to understand art. When in all actuality you do not have to do anything. Art just needs to be appreciated, loved, and admired. Haters won't go away; there will always be people that do not like you. As for the people that try too hard to understand art; please understand it to the best of your ability. So the next time you struggle with understanding art maybe just try to see it through the artist's eyes. The next time someone tries to bring you down about your art smile, because they obviously see something great in you that you do not see yourself. 



PSALMS 139

Art: Why You Shouldn't Care if Some People Do Not Get Your Art

I am an artist with many mediums. I paint, draw, sing, dance (even though I am not great at it), write/journal, and blog. Those are the things I consider art. Anything where I am creating something from scratch, but for right now I am going to focus on the general art. Which is painting, drawing, etc. Lately, I have been making great out of the box art. That is my style. I love painting on clothes, because it makes me feel like an individual. My mother raised me to be be different and not be a follower, but a leader. So whatever I do I make sure I make it me. I make everything scream Makayla. 

As an artist and fashionista I have to have a voice. My outlets give me a voice that I would not have if I was not a jack of all trades. Art is something that society has been trying to figure out for many years. We still have the questions: who is to say what art is? What defines art? Who makes art art? We all wonder these questions. We all have our own opinions and views when it comes to art. A lot of artists do things that the regular human mind just does not get. Not saying that they are dumb or slow it's just art is deeper than just an image. People think that when they see art they are just supposed to get art. People even pretend to understand art like Monet said. There's really no use to pretending you either get it or you don't. When people think of art they are thinking of a painting, or a realist drawing. When in reality, there are so many more mediums and wider canvases than just a regular canvas. 

My art is whatever I want it to be just like life is. Life is what you make it. Art is also that for me. Art is what you want it to be, so if people cannot understand your concept then move on, because it is not for people to understand. I have a bad habit of asking people about their opinion on my hair, face, photos, and art. I guess it stems from my own insecurities and I feel the need to validate myself based on other's opinions. Yet, I am here today to say that I no longer need or want to need people's validation on my art or anything else. I also think that you or whoever is reading this should not want that either. 

"Art is complex in the sense that it is simplistic to understand."

 Some people will always be negative and try to bring you down as a young artist. My mother always tells me that I cannot listen to everyone. I am starting to see that is very true. Some people are just jealous or haters, because they cannot do what you can do. Do not feed into people's negativity. Treat people with kindness no matter how they treat you. Some people think that they need to understand art. When in all actuality you do not have to do anything. Art just needs to be appreciated, loved, and admired. Haters won't go away; there will always be people that do not like you. As for the people that try too hard to understand art; please understand it to the best of your ability. So the next time you struggle with understanding art maybe just try to see it through the artist's eyes. The next time someone tries to bring you down about your art smile, because they obviously see something great in you that you do not see yourself. 



PSALMS 139

Why I Give Up On Dating in College and Totally Agree With Siri

When I was a senior in high school I had this fantasy that college, was this place where would I totally find myself. I have always been an idealist. So that means that I always have these high expectations about life, and when life does not meet my expectations my feelings are really hurt. 

Coming into college I somehow believed that I would have perfect grades, great friends, a boyfriend, and totally get my career. None of those things happened. I ended up changing my major, I had problems with my friends (but still love them), and I have quickly learned that crushing on someone can be a waste of time. I feel worse than Siri (lol), because at least Siri got asked on dates and someone took out the time to get to know her. So far, most college guys are just looking to have hook ups or at my college get married. I want more than just a hook up. No, I deserve more than a hook up, but I also do not want to get married at the age of 22. 

So I have come up with these reasons why I give up dating in college:

1. People play with your emotions too much

There was this one guy I really liked (like my feelings were legitimate) and I really thought he liked me back. In the end he did not, but I do not know if it was me or him? Like I know I wear my heart on my sleeve and I fall for people that are nice to me. Yet, this time I felt like he was a little "too nice" for me to just think he liked me as a friend. Some of the things he did seemed odd for me to think he just liked me as a friend. Still, in the end I had to realize, no matter how much I thought he liked me, that he SAID he did not. So I had to take his word for it. 

2. You think that YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG

This has only been my second year of college and I have had 4 encounters with 4 different guys. Each time I got hurt I blamed myself. I blamed myself for being violated. I blamed myself for not being good enough for the nice guy to like me. Then since I go to a Christian college I even blamed myself or judged myself by saying that I was not Proverbs 31  enough for a guy. 

3. It is truly a distraction and you might just be more mature than guys

I am a deep lover and a strong crusher. When I like you, I like YOU. You are the only thing I have on my mind. So that kind of makes it hard for me to do anything. I guess I am in some ways too eager for love. I hope God calms me down. I was always crying with the majority of guys I liked. So it makes me feel better knowing that I won't spend anymore nights crying over no good guys or fantasizing about "what it could have been". As women I think that we are more mature. Like I do not play games or play hard to get. When I like someone I tell them straight up. I feel like as women we are nurturers, and we sometimes desire a connection more than guys. Some guys mature slower than others. 

4. Guys barely take girls out anymore or maybe they just can't
The one thing I hate about college guys is that sometimes they either do not want to take you out on a real date, because all they seem to want is a hook up. Or they can't really take you out anyways because they do not have a car. Or they are not fun or creative and at least try to make your time together special. I come from a strict background I was not allowed to date. I do not think my mother wants me to date now either. I mean, no one likes me anyways so that made her job easier. Still, I had this fantasy as an 18 year old that I would go on my first date in college (I told you guys I am an idealist/dreamer). Yet, no guys has even had the decency to at least get to know me or even ask me out. We live in a crazy generation. I mean one guy did at least try to get to know me before rejecting me so there's that....(shout out to that one guy that makes me believe that are still some sweet guys out here!)

5. There are more people in the real world. College is not the end. 

I thought that everyone either had to find their spouse in college or casual date in college. At my school people are either focused on getting married, being a great Christian single male or female, or just hooking up and pretending to be holy the next day. Sometimes I get so caught up with how judgemental people are, how boring my campus is, and how non-diverse my school is that it discourages me when it comes to thinking about dating people in the real world. I had to realize that these are just the people here. In the real world there are buttholes, but there are cool people who will accept you and think you are the most beautiful thing in the world. Forget about people who think you have to be blonde, tan, skinny, and blue eyed to be beautiful. There are actual cool people in the real world.

6. Finally, Maybe it's not God's will

I know a lot of people say this at my college but maybe I need to realize maybe the reason why I can't date is because I cannot find who God has for me here. The world is so big, and I personally hate this saying but there are like 7 billion people in the world. So maybe God does not have your soulmate here at a small liberal arts college with like 2000 people. I have always been an optimist so I find hope that there is someone out there as peculiar as me. Someone who won't mind how aggressive I am. Someone who will appreciate the fact that I care about them and can reciprocate the feeling. God probably wants me to grow as an individual more and you too so do not give up hope for after college!

Okay, so I don't want to sound super bitter so here are some optimistic insights to look forward to: 

1. You have more time for things you love!

ex. Painting, cooking, dancing, writing, blogging, SHOPPING...etc

2. Think about it this way: When you get married almost EVERYTHING involves your spouse. This is your only time single and doing whatever you please.

Try to enjoy being single, because someday you won't be able to everything you did when you were single. You get more time with God. More time with gal pals. More time dancing in the rain....More time watching YOUR favorite binge watch Netflix shows. Less time sharing money with your spouse. 

3. You get to learn more about yourself.

Journal, blog, self reflect, pray, seek God, and the more you do these things the more you find you. 

4. You don't have to keep wondering if he/she likes you

When you are pursuing someone sometimes it can make you feel insecure. This is because you are so focused on them liking you back. When you are single the only thing that matters is self love. Practice self love so when you do get in a relationship it won't matter if they like you or not. 

PSALMS 139

Why I Give Up On Dating in College and Totally Agree With Siri

When I was a senior in high school I had this fantasy that college, was this place where would I totally find myself. I have always been an idealist. So that means that I always have these high expectations about life, and when life does not meet my expectations my feelings are really hurt. 

Coming into college I somehow believed that I would have perfect grades, great friends, a boyfriend, and totally get my career. None of those things happened. I ended up changing my major, I had problems with my friends (but still love them), and I have quickly learned that crushing on someone can be a waste of time. I feel worse than Siri (lol), because at least Siri got asked on dates and someone took out the time to get to know her. So far, most college guys are just looking to have hook ups or at my college get married. I want more than just a hook up. No, I deserve more than a hook up, but I also do not want to get married at the age of 22. 

So I have come up with these reasons why I give up dating in college:

1. People play with your emotions too much

There was this one guy I really liked (like my feelings were legitimate) and I really thought he liked me back. In the end he did not, but I do not know if it was me or him? Like I know I wear my heart on my sleeve and I fall for people that are nice to me. Yet, this time I felt like he was a little "too nice" for me to just think he liked me as a friend. Some of the things he did seemed odd for me to think he just liked me as a friend. Still, in the end I had to realize, no matter how much I thought he liked me, that he SAID he did not. So I had to take his word for it. 

2. You think that YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG

This has only been my second year of college and I have had 4 encounters with 4 different guys. Each time I got hurt I blamed myself. I blamed myself for being violated. I blamed myself for not being good enough for the nice guy to like me. Then since I go to a Christian college I even blamed myself or judged myself by saying that I was not Proverbs 31  enough for a guy. 

3. It is truly a distraction and you might just be more mature than guys

I am a deep lover and a strong crusher. When I like you, I like YOU. You are the only thing I have on my mind. So that kind of makes it hard for me to do anything. I guess I am in some ways too eager for love. I hope God calms me down. I was always crying with the majority of guys I liked. So it makes me feel better knowing that I won't spend anymore nights crying over no good guys or fantasizing about "what it could have been". As women I think that we are more mature. Like I do not play games or play hard to get. When I like someone I tell them straight up. I feel like as women we are nurturers, and we sometimes desire a connection more than guys. Some guys mature slower than others. 

4. Guys barely take girls out anymore or maybe they just can't
The one thing I hate about college guys is that sometimes they either do not want to take you out on a real date, because all they seem to want is a hook up. Or they can't really take you out anyways because they do not have a car. Or they are not fun or creative and at least try to make your time together special. I come from a strict background I was not allowed to date. I do not think my mother wants me to date now either. I mean, no one likes me anyways so that made her job easier. Still, I had this fantasy as an 18 year old that I would go on my first date in college (I told you guys I am an idealist/dreamer). Yet, no guys has even had the decency to at least get to know me or even ask me out. We live in a crazy generation. I mean one guy did at least try to get to know me before rejecting me so there's that....(shout out to that one guy that makes me believe that are still some sweet guys out here!)

5. There are more people in the real world. College is not the end. 

I thought that everyone either had to find their spouse in college or casual date in college. At my school people are either focused on getting married, being a great Christian single male or female, or just hooking up and pretending to be holy the next day. Sometimes I get so caught up with how judgemental people are, how boring my campus is, and how non-diverse my school is that it discourages me when it comes to thinking about dating people in the real world. I had to realize that these are just the people here. In the real world there are buttholes, but there are cool people who will accept you and think you are the most beautiful thing in the world. Forget about people who think you have to be blonde, tan, skinny, and blue eyed to be beautiful. There are actual cool people in the real world.

6. Finally, Maybe it's not God's will

I know a lot of people say this at my college but maybe I need to realize maybe the reason why I can't date is because I cannot find who God has for me here. The world is so big, and I personally hate this saying but there are like 7 billion people in the world. So maybe God does not have your soulmate here at a small liberal arts college with like 2000 people. I have always been an optimist so I find hope that there is someone out there as peculiar as me. Someone who won't mind how aggressive I am. Someone who will appreciate the fact that I care about them and can reciprocate the feeling. God probably wants me to grow as an individual more and you too so do not give up hope for after college!

Okay, so I don't want to sound super bitter so here are some optimistic insights to look forward to: 

1. You have more time for things you love!

ex. Painting, cooking, dancing, writing, blogging, SHOPPING...etc

2. Think about it this way: When you get married almost EVERYTHING involves your spouse. This is your only time single and doing whatever you please.

Try to enjoy being single, because someday you won't be able to everything you did when you were single. You get more time with God. More time with gal pals. More time dancing in the rain....More time watching YOUR favorite binge watch Netflix shows. Less time sharing money with your spouse. 

3. You get to learn more about yourself.

Journal, blog, self reflect, pray, seek God, and the more you do these things the more you find you. 

4. You don't have to keep wondering if he/she likes you

When you are pursuing someone sometimes it can make you feel insecure. This is because you are so focused on them liking you back. When you are single the only thing that matters is self love. Practice self love so when you do get in a relationship it won't matter if they like you or not. 

PSALMS 139