Saturday, April 30, 2016

Glossier (I Wish) and New Skincare Regime(DIY Based)!



Photo Credit: Glossier's Instagram +Glossier 
Photo Credit: Glossier's Instagram +Glossier 



Hey guys, I just ended my sophomore year of college and it was a great year for me (but I am saving that for another blog post)! Anyways, it has been awhile since I have posted about what I have been using consistently! So here go nothing...

Right now, I have become very attracted to Glossier's online store. While, I have not bought any products yet (I am deciding on doing that) I have read a ton of reviews and love their natural products so I am kind of excited to buy my mask tomorrow. So right now, I have been kind of diy-ing my skin care routine. Like, today I looked up a skin brightener online and it gave me about three easy steps (I added a few!)

Natural Skin Brightener:
-1 tbsp of coconut milk (I used oil)
-1 tbsp of honey
- 1 tbsp of lemon juice
-and some days I add ginger

Okay, so some stuff my mom has looked up and told me and I just want to share it with you guys! So lately I have been using Selsun Blue shampoo dandruff control with salicylic acid and using grapeseed oil as a moisturizer. I know some people may think that I am crazy for using shampoo as a facial cleanser but it has salicylic acid in it, which is put in most facial cleansers. My face has been clearing up and I have been using that for about 2 weeks straight. So I am pretty happy about. Also, for my fellow oily faced girls, I have discovered that grape seed  oil helps with oily skin and even skin tones naturally. This is like the only moisturizer in my entire life that gives me a dewy glow and my skin does not feel oily. Never in my life has anything else ever worked, and my face has cleared up tremendously. Another oil that works for eyelash growth is castor oil. I need to do some repair on my eyelashes. So I might give up mascara for a while and go natural (which will be challenging for me because I love mascara!) Well, there you have it girls or guys that's my beauty regime. It's pretty natural but I cannot wait to try my new Glossier face mask, and give you guys my code next time.



PSALMS 139 

Glossier (I Wish) and New Skincare Regime(DIY Based)!



Photo Credit: Glossier's Instagram +Glossier 
Photo Credit: Glossier's Instagram +Glossier 



Hey guys, I just ended my sophomore year of college and it was a great year for me (but I am saving that for another blog post)! Anyways, it has been awhile since I have posted about what I have been using consistently! So here go nothing...

Right now, I have become very attracted to Glossier's online store. While, I have not bought any products yet (I am deciding on doing that) I have read a ton of reviews and love their natural products so I am kind of excited to buy my mask tomorrow. So right now, I have been kind of diy-ing my skin care routine. Like, today I looked up a skin brightener online and it gave me about three easy steps (I added a few!)

Natural Skin Brightener:
-1 tbsp of coconut milk (I used oil)
-1 tbsp of honey
- 1 tbsp of lemon juice
-and some days I add ginger

Okay, so some stuff my mom has looked up and told me and I just want to share it with you guys! So lately I have been using Selsun Blue shampoo dandruff control with salicylic acid and using grapeseed oil as a moisturizer. I know some people may think that I am crazy for using shampoo as a facial cleanser but it has salicylic acid in it, which is put in most facial cleansers. My face has been clearing up and I have been using that for about 2 weeks straight. So I am pretty happy about. Also, for my fellow oily faced girls, I have discovered that grape seed  oil helps with oily skin and even skin tones naturally. This is like the only moisturizer in my entire life that gives me a dewy glow and my skin does not feel oily. Never in my life has anything else ever worked, and my face has cleared up tremendously. Another oil that works for eyelash growth is castor oil. I need to do some repair on my eyelashes. So I might give up mascara for a while and go natural (which will be challenging for me because I love mascara!) Well, there you have it girls or guys that's my beauty regime. It's pretty natural but I cannot wait to try my new Glossier face mask, and give you guys my code next time.



PSALMS 139 

Monday, April 25, 2016

Long Cloak and Having Own Unique Style

So today I was rocking a LoveCulture and Thrift Store mix! I mean I was looking for a new way to upgrade my same ol' crop top and shorts outfit. This cloak/jacket it is nice clothing material and just blows in the wind. I also only paid 30 dollars for it, so it wasn't like a major sacrifice!


Also my friend Staci played photographer today and I loved her work. Seriously she literally took one snap and I loved each one! Thanks girl!

Get a trench coat similar (because unfortunately these are not online or they sold out!) here

PRAISE GOD FOR THE WEATHER PSALMS 139!!!



Long Cloak and Having Own Unique Style

So today I was rocking a LoveCulture and Thrift Store mix! I mean I was looking for a new way to upgrade my same ol' crop top and shorts outfit. This cloak/jacket it is nice clothing material and just blows in the wind. I also only paid 30 dollars for it, so it wasn't like a major sacrifice!


Also my friend Staci played photographer today and I loved her work. Seriously she literally took one snap and I loved each one! Thanks girl!

Get a trench coat similar (because unfortunately these are not online or they sold out!) here

PRAISE GOD FOR THE WEATHER PSALMS 139!!!



Lil Kim, Interracial Dating, and How Society Views Black Women


The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman.
Read more at: 
http://www.azquotes.com/quote/895964

First off let me just say, I love interracial couples. I love how we can look outside of our own racial background, and date despite the evil or snarky looks we might get from people in the grocery store, or what our parents might think. I believe that love is love, and you cannot help who you become attracted to, just like you cannot help who attracts you. I even love the Bronx Tale about an Italian boy falling for a young African American girl. I have no problem with interracial couples until it becomes almost like a fetish. Or until Black men decide that dating any other woman except a Black woman gives them, "STATUS". I DO have a problem with dating so that your children can be of a "lighter complexion and have more of the European standards of beauty". I have a problem when Black male rappers fetishize colorism in their lyrics and dating life. I have a problem when people only want airbrushed dark skinned Black women. In this article, I will be focusing on interracial dating, how Black men present women in the media, and the stereotypes based around Black Women. There are some stereotypes that really need to be broken and things that need to be understood in the Black community. 

Interracial Dating, Hip Hop Culture & Black Women, and Racial Preferences
Instagram Picture from Pro.Black Princess

This year and last year have been very challenging not only for me, but for other Black Women as well. For as long as I can remember all I heard in rap songs is "I like a long haired thick redbone..." (Lil Wayne's Every Girl). As I have said before I have NEVER had a problem with interracial couples (I wish I was in one), and I have always been a confident Brown skinned Black beauty. Yet, there is an ongoing problem going on in the Black community. Which I think we need to talk about, but most importantly allow God to help us and manifest within us. I have found it very interesting this past year how vocal men specifically, Black males, have been about fetishizing women from different ethnic backgrounds and this ideal of being "foreign". Recently, I read an article about how Drake among other rappers have been "reinscribing white beauty through black beauty". This article was in the Feminist Wire, and was written by an East African girl herself. A lot of people know Drake as Jimmy from Degrassi, and on the show was when he was actually in a relationship with a supposedly Ethiopian girl until he started dating Ashley. In the song "Poetic Justice" Drake's lyrics are (excuse the language), "Young East African girl, you too busy F******* with your other man/ I was trying to put you on game, put you on a plane/ Take you and your mama to the motherland/I could do it, maybe one day/ When you figure out you're gonna need someone/ When you figure out it's all right here in the city/ And you don't run from where we come from/Your natural hair and your soft skin, and your big a** in that sundress (ooh!)/Good God, what you doing that walk for?/When I see that thing move, I just wish we would fight less and we would talk more/.". I do not mean to be harsh in any way, but it does seem as though Black males are just marginalizing East African women and this only prevents people from accepting other Back women who do not have the same features as East African women, No this is not an attempt to attack or pit women against each other, what I am saying is that when musicians and rappers list character traits then this just shows a fetish. Just like in Trey Songz song "Foreign" in a way this is not too far from the ideals of exoticism. It seems as though men are pointing out specific features women need to have which in actuality is a fetish. A fetish to me is almost like infatuation which is basically when you admire something so much that you think it is love when really it is not. This brings up the issue of acceptable-blackness. East African girls in a way like I discussed before, are seen as mixed, or European standards in a black woman's body. These stereotypes really need to be broken and changed when we think about Black beauty. Now, I am not saying that Black men are the only men that fetishize or attacking them I am just saying that they do (if they want to) need to start opening up their horizons when it comes to how they view African American women. I also think that they may need to stop bringing us down in songs, and how they present us in videos. My first year in college which was just last year, we were discussing how women are viewed in the media and somehow black women in rap videos came up. As I recall, a biracial boy in my class who told me he was half Black said, "Well I just think that Black women look so nasty in those videos. But white women when they are in videos they look socially acceptable." Honestly, that kind of upset me because I could not understand why Black men or half Black men were seeing us as all of a sudden the nasty and impure ones when they have been degrading our names for the longest. Maybe like my mother says it is because we allowed them or maybe it is because there is some sort of internal hate and the slavery mentality still. That idea of white innocence and purity and black being impure, unclean, and nasty. Which even goes way back to slavery when Black women were thought of as lustful creatures, and used for sexual purposes as well as workers for the cotton fields. Interracial dating is not new to our society, nor is just having sexual relations with someone. Most of the time, (just like in 12 Years A Slave), we only hear about White men raping Black women during slavery, but we rarely hear about the bored, hurt, and humiliated White plantation wife who in fact had sexual relations with Black slave men as well.  Now once again, please do not think I am attacking anyone I am just trying to state all fact and my personal experience. I am not by any means trying to make anyone feel uncomfortable, but if you do I am sorry but not sorry we need truth. We need something that is going to help us see how the slave mentality is kind of damaging us still today. We see the affects of using sex as means of gaining power. Student Pulse, talks about how rape/and sex were uses of power during slavery for both White men and women. This kind of relates to today's culture, but instead for Black men. Some Black men (not all) believe or have come to the belief that having a "foreign", "exotic", reinscribed Black beauty through European beauty standards, somehow gives them power and some sort of status. 


This all leads into whether it is a preference or are you dragging Black women to make yourself look better. This even goes deeper when we look at how Black men were taught to think of themselves during slavery and Jim Crow laws. Everyone knows that a man is supposed to be the head of the household. It even says men are to lead their houses in the bible. According to 18karatreggae during the Jim Crow days young white teenage boys were able to talk to older black men in a disrespectful tone. So the older Black male had to basically emasculate themselves, and be respectful to avoid being lynched. I can relate to how being brought down for so long can make you believe or think that if you date a woman that is not Black can bring you up in the social world. I truly can believe why that would make Black men feel so good, because they are so used to being treated badly. Money and status does make men feel good, and like I have researched men are going to want a woman that measures up to the power and status they have acquired. Many Black men do not see us as the trophy wife not because we are not beautiful, but because we do have another set of problems. Just like Black men suffer from the scars from slavery and Jim Crow laws we do too. Just as it said in 18karatreggae, we are not seen as something to work for. We already do not have the societal European standards of beauty so that makes it even harder. There is nothing wrong with dating outside your race/culture or to me having a preference. The problem is misogynoir. Misogynoir is a combination of sexism, racism, and gender bias specifically towards Black Women. There are already a list of stereotypes placed upon us and Everyday Feminism explains each one.  Our bodies are hypersexualized and we are disrespected by both non Black people and Black men. Misogynoir reminds me about how when I grew up and even other Black women, I was taught to be a strong black woman. I was raised to never depend on a man and always be strong. Now that I am 20 I wonder when will Black women ever get to play the damsel in distress? Will we ever be seen as Cinderella? I did not realize until now that the "strong Black woman" stereotype is deadly. A lot of people say, "oh you're strong Makayla and your mother raised you right," but now I wonder how come I cannot cry. I know I have the Lord which is who I go to the most when in trouble or in good times, but some stuff we still need to break. The rappers tell us that we have to be yellow-or -red boned to get their attention, but what about darker or mocha colored girls like me? We want to say how much we love Black women but in all actuality we don't. My mother nor my father never once looked at me and said, "Makayla you are so beautiful." I do not fault them. My mom does call me pretty from time to time, but honestly I feel like in the black community our parents think we just have to figure that out. Self love is 10 times harder for a Black woman. It is hard in general but super hard for us and I think a lot of times people look over that because we are supposed to be "strong". Self love is extremely hard and time consuming, when each and everyday you see the Kardashian-Jenners culturally appropriating our culture. When you see Black men on campus only dating Caucasian women. And you sit there with tears in your eyes "wondering what do those women have that my Black sisters and I don't?". Yes, I am strong, yes I hold my head up high pray and talk to God about it. But do somedays I desire someone (a male) that is going to accept me for me? Do somedays I wish that in my classes people would not look at me with judgements? Do somedays I wish everyone was willing to date outside their race not just Caucasian females and Black males. Shouldn't love mean more than just the color of someone's skin? Let's talk about how these things such as negative racial preferences, misogynoir, fetishizing, and hip hop culture all have a negative effect on Black women. I chose something more recent which is about the Lil Kim transformation. 

The Results of Negative Effects and Stereotypes on Black Women

So on April 24th Lil Kim posted a picture on Instagram in which she looked like -- well lets face it a full blown Caucasian woman. A lot of people keep wondering what happened to her face and I am just like everyone come on wake up we all know what happened. Colorism, self hatred, insecurity, European standards of beauty, and no acceptance from her own race and others. I find it terribly sad how Lil Kim talks about how her father and other Black men put her down. I believe this is the true effect of misogynoir, fethizing women with "good hair", and stereotyping. As I have stated before often times I have felt like Lil Kim. I always see Black men with Caucasian women (not always but I guess you see my point!) and wonder the same thing, "what does she have that I don't?". It hurts me so much to see this dark chocolate beauty lighten her skin and wear extensions to be something that makes society happy. I do wear weave, but honestly just to protect my hair as a protective style. I have never really been afraid of my hair. (Fun fact: I have been natural my whole life!). Like my heart breaks for her because I know that there are little girls like her. Not just Black girls, but all little girls are growing up with these insecurities. The thing is it is just tougher for Black girls, because of the stereotypes, and stuff from slavery. I know that Black men are hurting too, but they need to realize most of us are already feeling bad about ourselves so why cheat on "Becky with the Good hair" (Beyonce terminology). That's not even the point the point is stop fetishizing European beauty traits and forcing Black women to have them. If we don't oh well, still appreciate the fact that God made her. If she does then date her. No one is saying stop dating anyone the problems is trying to force women of color to look European and downing us because our skin is darker and our hair is kinky coily. On the behalf of my fellow Black sisters, we really do not care who you date just do not bash us for not having everything you want us to have. I mean, it seems like some not all, Black men are trying to run from the problem instead of facing it like a man. Maybe if we could strengthen each other and our communities we would not feel like we need to date someone to feel masculine or accepted. I am not discouraging interracial relationships. I am just saying that we need to love for love not to feel status. 

Colorism is HUGE in the Black community. Like, I cannot tell you how many times I have heard "you're acting like a 'light-skinned' or 'dark-skinned'." Honestly, I wonder why are we still stuck on color after all these years. I still, hear guys say she's fine for a light-skinned girl. The only reason why that never happened to me was because I was told by many guys I have "good hair", which is a term I hate with a passion. I feel like people need to stop pretending why Lil Kim got so light, because she did not feel pretty based on the pretty privilege that comes with being of a lighter skin tone. 

Black women who look like Lil Kim before the transformation remind Black men of what they are trying to get away from. To be honest self love ain't easy. Self love is not a quick stroll in the park then yay you are all done and you love yourself. Everyday, when I get on social media I reminded that I need a small waist big butt to be beautiful, light skin, full lips (something most Black people already have), long flowing hair, and great style. It gets overwhelming after a while, but now I have learned to love who God made me to be. That did not get easy overnight that took years and years of practice and I still have a long way to go. I know other women face these issues as well, but I cannot speak for what I do not know. I only speak from my real life experience and that just happens to be me being a Black woman. So let's not bash Lil Kim, because honestly no matter what race you are loving yourself is very challenging!

Social Media: How Black Men Portray Us 
We all love to laugh. (Well I know I do!) Sometimes I get bored and go on Instagram to find my favorite funny guys that dress up like Black women. While I do laugh and even agree with some of them I cannot help, but notice how they have stereotypical "Black girl names". They have names like TiTi, Sasha, and  Topramenisha. This reminds me of Martin Lawerence's Shanaynay or Tyler Perry's Madea. I know that they are trying to be funny, but our generation of social media helps widen who sees our posts. Back in the day predominantly Black audiences were watching Martin and Jamie Foxx. Nowadays, everyone is on social media. So when we are being "ratchet" and "ghetto" for the vine or Instagram to get a a ton of likes we need to remember that not everyone is Black. Some people see these videos and believe that this is how Black women really act. I have actually had people come up to me in real life and ask, "are you really ratchet?". 

There is not wrong with making people laugh, but don't try to make it seem as though all Black women are the same. I feel like the Black men exaggerating how Black women behave is another form of them using us to put spotlight on us, but still glorifying women that are socially acceptable. I mean I love them, but we do need to stop creating more stereotypes or even falsely justifying them on social media. 

Sniffmysplash Instagram star who plays Topramenisha

Moving Forward: My Thoughts
In the end, I will always think that interracial relationships are really cute, and that the people who are in them must really be in love. Will I ever be in an interracial relationship? I have my ex boyfriend from when I was 17 ( I feel so ancient lol this was the last year I actually dated someone!!!), was Puerto Rican. So I guess the question is do I think I will be in a future interracial relationship? Honestly, I do not know. If I do get into another relationship it probably won't be here at TCC. I love people I am talkative so who knows what the future holds? I believe that we need to stop with the colorblindness. We cannot ignore color or what happens to people of color, but we can work together to end stereotypes. I do not believe that it will be over in one day it is a process. Not everyone will want to date outside of their race and that is okay. Interracial relationships are awesome but do not go into them for the wrong reasons. Loves knows no color. God created us all out of His image and I believe that. I hope that you read this in wanting to change their perceptions on what love is and what it is not. I hope you Black men, compliment your Black sisters. I hope if you're not Black you talk to someone today, you smile at them, besides what's the worse thing that could happen?




PSALMS 139

Lil Kim, Interracial Dating, and How Society Views Black Women


The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman.
Read more at: 
http://www.azquotes.com/quote/895964

First off let me just say, I love interracial couples. I love how we can look outside of our own racial background, and date despite the evil or snarky looks we might get from people in the grocery store, or what our parents might think. I believe that love is love, and you cannot help who you become attracted to, just like you cannot help who attracts you. I even love the Bronx Tale about an Italian boy falling for a young African American girl. I have no problem with interracial couples until it becomes almost like a fetish. Or until Black men decide that dating any other woman except a Black woman gives them, "STATUS". I DO have a problem with dating so that your children can be of a "lighter complexion and have more of the European standards of beauty". I have a problem when Black male rappers fetishize colorism in their lyrics and dating life. I have a problem when people only want airbrushed dark skinned Black women. In this article, I will be focusing on interracial dating, how Black men present women in the media, and the stereotypes based around Black Women. There are some stereotypes that really need to be broken and things that need to be understood in the Black community. 

Interracial Dating, Hip Hop Culture & Black Women, and Racial Preferences
Instagram Picture from Pro.Black Princess

This year and last year have been very challenging not only for me, but for other Black Women as well. For as long as I can remember all I heard in rap songs is "I like a long haired thick redbone..." (Lil Wayne's Every Girl). As I have said before I have NEVER had a problem with interracial couples (I wish I was in one), and I have always been a confident Brown skinned Black beauty. Yet, there is an ongoing problem going on in the Black community. Which I think we need to talk about, but most importantly allow God to help us and manifest within us. I have found it very interesting this past year how vocal men specifically, Black males, have been about fetishizing women from different ethnic backgrounds and this ideal of being "foreign". Recently, I read an article about how Drake among other rappers have been "reinscribing white beauty through black beauty". This article was in the Feminist Wire, and was written by an East African girl herself. A lot of people know Drake as Jimmy from Degrassi, and on the show was when he was actually in a relationship with a supposedly Ethiopian girl until he started dating Ashley. In the song "Poetic Justice" Drake's lyrics are (excuse the language), "Young East African girl, you too busy F******* with your other man/ I was trying to put you on game, put you on a plane/ Take you and your mama to the motherland/I could do it, maybe one day/ When you figure out you're gonna need someone/ When you figure out it's all right here in the city/ And you don't run from where we come from/Your natural hair and your soft skin, and your big a** in that sundress (ooh!)/Good God, what you doing that walk for?/When I see that thing move, I just wish we would fight less and we would talk more/.". I do not mean to be harsh in any way, but it does seem as though Black males are just marginalizing East African women and this only prevents people from accepting other Back women who do not have the same features as East African women, No this is not an attempt to attack or pit women against each other, what I am saying is that when musicians and rappers list character traits then this just shows a fetish. Just like in Trey Songz song "Foreign" in a way this is not too far from the ideals of exoticism. It seems as though men are pointing out specific features women need to have which in actuality is a fetish. A fetish to me is almost like infatuation which is basically when you admire something so much that you think it is love when really it is not. This brings up the issue of acceptable-blackness. East African girls in a way like I discussed before, are seen as mixed, or European standards in a black woman's body. These stereotypes really need to be broken and changed when we think about Black beauty. Now, I am not saying that Black men are the only men that fetishize or attacking them I am just saying that they do (if they want to) need to start opening up their horizons when it comes to how they view African American women. I also think that they may need to stop bringing us down in songs, and how they present us in videos. My first year in college which was just last year, we were discussing how women are viewed in the media and somehow black women in rap videos came up. As I recall, a biracial boy in my class who told me he was half Black said, "Well I just think that Black women look so nasty in those videos. But white women when they are in videos they look socially acceptable." Honestly, that kind of upset me because I could not understand why Black men or half Black men were seeing us as all of a sudden the nasty and impure ones when they have been degrading our names for the longest. Maybe like my mother says it is because we allowed them or maybe it is because there is some sort of internal hate and the slavery mentality still. That idea of white innocence and purity and black being impure, unclean, and nasty. Which even goes way back to slavery when Black women were thought of as lustful creatures, and used for sexual purposes as well as workers for the cotton fields. Interracial dating is not new to our society, nor is just having sexual relations with someone. Most of the time, (just like in 12 Years A Slave), we only hear about White men raping Black women during slavery, but we rarely hear about the bored, hurt, and humiliated White plantation wife who in fact had sexual relations with Black slave men as well.  Now once again, please do not think I am attacking anyone I am just trying to state all fact and my personal experience. I am not by any means trying to make anyone feel uncomfortable, but if you do I am sorry but not sorry we need truth. We need something that is going to help us see how the slave mentality is kind of damaging us still today. We see the affects of using sex as means of gaining power. Student Pulse, talks about how rape/and sex were uses of power during slavery for both White men and women. This kind of relates to today's culture, but instead for Black men. Some Black men (not all) believe or have come to the belief that having a "foreign", "exotic", reinscribed Black beauty through European beauty standards, somehow gives them power and some sort of status. 


This all leads into whether it is a preference or are you dragging Black women to make yourself look better. This even goes deeper when we look at how Black men were taught to think of themselves during slavery and Jim Crow laws. Everyone knows that a man is supposed to be the head of the household. It even says men are to lead their houses in the bible. According to 18karatreggae during the Jim Crow days young white teenage boys were able to talk to older black men in a disrespectful tone. So the older Black male had to basically emasculate themselves, and be respectful to avoid being lynched. I can relate to how being brought down for so long can make you believe or think that if you date a woman that is not Black can bring you up in the social world. I truly can believe why that would make Black men feel so good, because they are so used to being treated badly. Money and status does make men feel good, and like I have researched men are going to want a woman that measures up to the power and status they have acquired. Many Black men do not see us as the trophy wife not because we are not beautiful, but because we do have another set of problems. Just like Black men suffer from the scars from slavery and Jim Crow laws we do too. Just as it said in 18karatreggae, we are not seen as something to work for. We already do not have the societal European standards of beauty so that makes it even harder. There is nothing wrong with dating outside your race/culture or to me having a preference. The problem is misogynoir. Misogynoir is a combination of sexism, racism, and gender bias specifically towards Black Women. There are already a list of stereotypes placed upon us and Everyday Feminism explains each one.  Our bodies are hypersexualized and we are disrespected by both non Black people and Black men. Misogynoir reminds me about how when I grew up and even other Black women, I was taught to be a strong black woman. I was raised to never depend on a man and always be strong. Now that I am 20 I wonder when will Black women ever get to play the damsel in distress? Will we ever be seen as Cinderella? I did not realize until now that the "strong Black woman" stereotype is deadly. A lot of people say, "oh you're strong Makayla and your mother raised you right," but now I wonder how come I cannot cry. I know I have the Lord which is who I go to the most when in trouble or in good times, but some stuff we still need to break. The rappers tell us that we have to be yellow-or -red boned to get their attention, but what about darker or mocha colored girls like me? We want to say how much we love Black women but in all actuality we don't. My mother nor my father never once looked at me and said, "Makayla you are so beautiful." I do not fault them. My mom does call me pretty from time to time, but honestly I feel like in the black community our parents think we just have to figure that out. Self love is 10 times harder for a Black woman. It is hard in general but super hard for us and I think a lot of times people look over that because we are supposed to be "strong". Self love is extremely hard and time consuming, when each and everyday you see the Kardashian-Jenners culturally appropriating our culture. When you see Black men on campus only dating Caucasian women. And you sit there with tears in your eyes "wondering what do those women have that my Black sisters and I don't?". Yes, I am strong, yes I hold my head up high pray and talk to God about it. But do somedays I desire someone (a male) that is going to accept me for me? Do somedays I wish that in my classes people would not look at me with judgements? Do somedays I wish everyone was willing to date outside their race not just Caucasian females and Black males. Shouldn't love mean more than just the color of someone's skin? Let's talk about how these things such as negative racial preferences, misogynoir, fetishizing, and hip hop culture all have a negative effect on Black women. I chose something more recent which is about the Lil Kim transformation. 

The Results of Negative Effects and Stereotypes on Black Women

So on April 24th Lil Kim posted a picture on Instagram in which she looked like -- well lets face it a full blown Caucasian woman. A lot of people keep wondering what happened to her face and I am just like everyone come on wake up we all know what happened. Colorism, self hatred, insecurity, European standards of beauty, and no acceptance from her own race and others. I find it terribly sad how Lil Kim talks about how her father and other Black men put her down. I believe this is the true effect of misogynoir, fethizing women with "good hair", and stereotyping. As I have stated before often times I have felt like Lil Kim. I always see Black men with Caucasian women (not always but I guess you see my point!) and wonder the same thing, "what does she have that I don't?". It hurts me so much to see this dark chocolate beauty lighten her skin and wear extensions to be something that makes society happy. I do wear weave, but honestly just to protect my hair as a protective style. I have never really been afraid of my hair. (Fun fact: I have been natural my whole life!). Like my heart breaks for her because I know that there are little girls like her. Not just Black girls, but all little girls are growing up with these insecurities. The thing is it is just tougher for Black girls, because of the stereotypes, and stuff from slavery. I know that Black men are hurting too, but they need to realize most of us are already feeling bad about ourselves so why cheat on "Becky with the Good hair" (Beyonce terminology). That's not even the point the point is stop fetishizing European beauty traits and forcing Black women to have them. If we don't oh well, still appreciate the fact that God made her. If she does then date her. No one is saying stop dating anyone the problems is trying to force women of color to look European and downing us because our skin is darker and our hair is kinky coily. On the behalf of my fellow Black sisters, we really do not care who you date just do not bash us for not having everything you want us to have. I mean, it seems like some not all, Black men are trying to run from the problem instead of facing it like a man. Maybe if we could strengthen each other and our communities we would not feel like we need to date someone to feel masculine or accepted. I am not discouraging interracial relationships. I am just saying that we need to love for love not to feel status. 

Colorism is HUGE in the Black community. Like, I cannot tell you how many times I have heard "you're acting like a 'light-skinned' or 'dark-skinned'." Honestly, I wonder why are we still stuck on color after all these years. I still, hear guys say she's fine for a light-skinned girl. The only reason why that never happened to me was because I was told by many guys I have "good hair", which is a term I hate with a passion. I feel like people need to stop pretending why Lil Kim got so light, because she did not feel pretty based on the pretty privilege that comes with being of a lighter skin tone. 

Black women who look like Lil Kim before the transformation remind Black men of what they are trying to get away from. To be honest self love ain't easy. Self love is not a quick stroll in the park then yay you are all done and you love yourself. Everyday, when I get on social media I reminded that I need a small waist big butt to be beautiful, light skin, full lips (something most Black people already have), long flowing hair, and great style. It gets overwhelming after a while, but now I have learned to love who God made me to be. That did not get easy overnight that took years and years of practice and I still have a long way to go. I know other women face these issues as well, but I cannot speak for what I do not know. I only speak from my real life experience and that just happens to be me being a Black woman. So let's not bash Lil Kim, because honestly no matter what race you are loving yourself is very challenging!

Social Media: How Black Men Portray Us 
We all love to laugh. (Well I know I do!) Sometimes I get bored and go on Instagram to find my favorite funny guys that dress up like Black women. While I do laugh and even agree with some of them I cannot help, but notice how they have stereotypical "Black girl names". They have names like TiTi, Sasha, and  Topramenisha. This reminds me of Martin Lawerence's Shanaynay or Tyler Perry's Madea. I know that they are trying to be funny, but our generation of social media helps widen who sees our posts. Back in the day predominantly Black audiences were watching Martin and Jamie Foxx. Nowadays, everyone is on social media. So when we are being "ratchet" and "ghetto" for the vine or Instagram to get a a ton of likes we need to remember that not everyone is Black. Some people see these videos and believe that this is how Black women really act. I have actually had people come up to me in real life and ask, "are you really ratchet?". 

There is not wrong with making people laugh, but don't try to make it seem as though all Black women are the same. I feel like the Black men exaggerating how Black women behave is another form of them using us to put spotlight on us, but still glorifying women that are socially acceptable. I mean I love them, but we do need to stop creating more stereotypes or even falsely justifying them on social media. 

Sniffmysplash Instagram star who plays Topramenisha

Moving Forward: My Thoughts
In the end, I will always think that interracial relationships are really cute, and that the people who are in them must really be in love. Will I ever be in an interracial relationship? I have my ex boyfriend from when I was 17 ( I feel so ancient lol this was the last year I actually dated someone!!!), was Puerto Rican. So I guess the question is do I think I will be in a future interracial relationship? Honestly, I do not know. If I do get into another relationship it probably won't be here at TCC. I love people I am talkative so who knows what the future holds? I believe that we need to stop with the colorblindness. We cannot ignore color or what happens to people of color, but we can work together to end stereotypes. I do not believe that it will be over in one day it is a process. Not everyone will want to date outside of their race and that is okay. Interracial relationships are awesome but do not go into them for the wrong reasons. Loves knows no color. God created us all out of His image and I believe that. I hope that you read this in wanting to change their perceptions on what love is and what it is not. I hope you Black men, compliment your Black sisters. I hope if you're not Black you talk to someone today, you smile at them, besides what's the worse thing that could happen?




PSALMS 139

Thursday, April 21, 2016

The Minority Experience: Do I "Look Like My Name?"


April 17, 2016-- Claire Edwards is an Asian American student attending Trinity Christian College, and dealt with a stereotype as she was told multiple times, "She does not look like a Claire Edwards". She then turned to social media. After the campus read what she had to say online, she started a mini-movement. Her movement is #IAmAPerson, which is when she walks around campus carrying her sign as seen in the picture above. The purpose is to educate and break stereotypical barriers on campus.  I attend as well Trinity Christian College and this is my second year yet, I am debating if I should transfer or educate. Claire has inspired me even more to educate. She has dealt with the same stuff that most of us as minorities have dealt with like -- depression from being treated so poorly at a Predominantly White Institution. Claire is doing what most of us are trying to do as minorities, which is educate people on the damage they do to us when they stereotype, when they become ignorant to what we are going through, and when we do not thrive from White privilege, but majority of Caucasians do. I cannot say every Caucasian is the same or generalize them, because I have met some awesome people at Trinity but that has only been a very small part of my college experience. I cannot say that every minority's experience is the same or that every Black person's story is the same, but I can share mine once again.  Social media and my blog gives me a voice I do not feel that is being heard at my college. 

As an African American young woman I want to touch on the topics of the Black lives matter movement , the still separate but equal school system, my experience as a young black woman, and how we can move forward. 

Growing Up in A "Separate but Equal" Society
Growing up on the West side of Chicago I was never around any Caucasian students. Most of the neighborhoods were either predominantly Black or Hispanic, or a mix between the two. No, there were not any Asians, Caucasians or Indians on my block or in my "hood". I can recall times when people would shoot right outside my window or the time three high school black boys stood in our hallway downstairs and got high. It was really only by our faith in God that my family and I faced these hard times. For some reason, I thought college was "my way out". That it would become a place where I would finally be accepted. Yet, when I got there I quickly learned that that would not be the case. I came to college only to face a new set of problems--problems I never really thought about at first. I quickly was reminded that I was Black or African American. My school never let me forget that, and every corner I turned I saw another Dutch student. I did not mind, and I thought well I attend a Christian college so I will be fine, but I was not. Just like Claire Edwards multiple people have had said stereotypical things to me. I have been asked multiple times "why are Black people so loud?" I have been stared at every time I walked into class as the only Black student. No one really wanted to work with me in any of my classes. So when you look at someone coming from a big city or state like California or Chicago coming to a small liberal arts predominantly white institution then you will see why everything is so different to me. 

This brings up the point as to how segregated Chicago still is. I remember my mother (and she still does) having to drive us to Schaumburg, Oak Park (which is really close to Austin), and Oak Brook just to make sure we had a decent childhood. I currently live in Austin which is one Chicago's most dangerous neighborhoods. Yet, I find it funny how I can drive into Oak Park in like 5-10 minutes and notice a HUGE difference. I notice that the police are watching the elementary kids play outside for recess. I notice that the neighborhood has better restaurants and better playgrounds for kids to play in. I get that this all comes from their parent's taxes, but it is not fair to the children like me growing up. My mom did her best to make sure we had a great childhood growing up. She drove way out of our neighborhood just so we could play, and have fun. This is not right for the children who get shot, because all they were doing was playing on their neighborhood block because the park was damaged. 

The U.S News says that even though it has been at least  60 years after Brown v. Board our school system is still segregated. Which plays into why we face so many hardships when integrated. Just like me most students at my school who are Caucasian have never been in class with a black student; except maybe one. U.S News also says that, Black parents do not expect their black children to receive the same amount of education as white students. According to the U.S News, "this leads to less positive attitudes about school, less parent communication about school, and fewer out of school experiences". This shows that there is already a challenge as a minority, specifically as an African American, to even make it to college.  As a college student I knew that these were problems that would block me, but honestly I thought that I would feel more accepted and even loved in a friendly manner, because I attend a Christian College.  I knew that Chicago, being one of the most segregated cities in the nation, would not really prepare me for a predominantly white institution, but I never knew that college would be about race all the time. It seems like no matter what I do my race is somehow always involved. Whether it is how people treat me in my classes to the dating realm. 

Christianity, Black Lives Matter, and #SayHerName
One of the things I loved about Trinity as a young 18 year old was actually that it was a Christian college. I thought that it would keep me in my faith (it did), and the people would be more accepting as I have said before yet, I have found that to not always be the case.  Yes, it did keep me in my faith, but it seems like the people here treat me just like the world would. Some of my friends who went to bigger universities said that people at secular universities seem nicer than here. I read an article last year about Christian children being meaner than secular children. The article was in the The Guardian it was actually titled, "Religious Children Are Meaner Than Their Secular Counterparts, Study Finds"  . The article talks about religious beliefs having a negative effect on the child's altruistic ability. I love God and I have been in the church all my life, so I am not saying I am against God or anyone's god, but I am against sin. This article from The Guardian even shows fact that the two largest religions in the world which are Christianity and Islam were less altruistic than children from secular homes. This was very interesting to me because it reminded me of the things I saw on my Christian campus. How everyone loves to serve off campus, but when they are here and they see minorities they are staring, asking stereotypical questions, and saying all lives matter. I always thought it was ironic how the same people that go on trips to Africa and so serve trips were the same people who turned their backs on the people here at school. Then I had to realize that the people who hated Jesus the most were not secular people, but religious people. 

This led to many people on campus writing #alllivesmatter under posts made by black students on Yik Yak. Many Christian Caucasian students do not get that, yes God did make us all and we are all one, but we are just trying to shed light on the fact that many African American males have been killed by police in the past 2 years. It becomes frustrating when my friends and I try to educate people online yet they still say that they feel "uncomfortable". When in all actuality this is just another excuse to not become educated on culture and race. In an article from the Huffington Post, titled "When Christians Won't Say, #BlackLivesMatter," the author talks about how this demeans the meaning of #BlackLivesMatter. The author explicitly says, "However, #AllLivesMatter is little more than a cruel and subtle way of sweeping the deprecation of black lives under the rug. #AllLivesMatter is an insidious fiction that suppresses historical fact and contemporary circumstances in order to uphold a deadly system of racial oppression".  No one is saying that God did not make all of us equal or that all of our lives do not matter. We are just trying to seek out justice for our people. 

Claire's story reminded me of Sandra Bland's story. They both are similar in the sense that they touch on how women and minorities have to face stereotypes. Although, I am not Asian American and cannot tell Claire's story, because each student has their own unique story. What I can do is share an article written by another Asian American student. In the article "I Am Asian American", there is a section that talks about invisibility among Asian students in school. It brings up stereotypes and derogatory names like F.O.B (which means fresh off the boat). This can even connect to all other minority groups. Just as in the media Asians are often viewed as geeks, martial arts instructors, and speaking poor english. These are the issues and stereotypes that we need to break. Not only at my college, but also nationwide.  Just like the stereotype of the "angry black woman", which is what Sandra Bland was associated with. According to Women in The World, most African American women will be looked at as "combative" which in some ways gives people a false sense of validation to be aggressive with them. That plays into the stereotype of "the angry black woman". No matter what, we need to educate the majority and let them know why saying things like "F.O.B" or "the angry black woman" strips us as minorities of our voices. 

Should We "Look Like Our Names"?
When Claire Edwards was repeatedly told she "did not look like a Claire Edwards" that reminded me how some employers cannot get jobs, because of their non-white sounding names. That even reminds me of how young African American males with dreads are pulled over way more than a "hipster cool" Caucasian guys with dreads. I am not saying anything is wrong with people sharing hairstyles, but the problem is how society looks at the two.This also brings up the issue of hiring people based on their names. Even when you have a college degree you might still have to "whiten" your resume, as the New York Times would say, just to get a job. According to CBS NewsCambridge-based National Bureau of Economic Research , "After responding to 1,300 classified ads with dummy resumes, the authors found black-sounding names were 50 percent less likely to get a callback than white-sounding names with comparable resumes." This all means that when names sound a certain way from certain people it determines if someone will get a job or not. Are we defined by our names? It seems as though society says we are. What does a Claire look like? What does a La'Keisha look like? A Deshawn? A Kevin? I have never been told I do not look like a Makayla, because all types of girls have that name. Still being told you don't look like something is like stripping you of your God given identity. Names are something our parents give us because they want to help define us as people. I do not think we should be defined by our names. 

Moving Forward
The best thing we can do is start somewhere which I think is social media because it gives you a voice and you do not have to wait for anyone's approval. Try to seek out a minority as an individual not an generalized group of people. Try to take this as a chance to get to know other cultures, That way you don't culturally appropriate, but grow as a person. Educate teachers and professors on the backgrounds of students, because not everyone has come from the same background. As a Christian I would say try to let God to manifest in you more. God really did make us all out of His image and equal. So honestly, we are a fallen creation and this is all due to our own sinful nature. We are so caught up on socioeconomic status, money, and living a selfish life that we forget that others want a good life as well. I am praying for my college and the nation, but I will also be speaking out against any injustice I see. I like to think of myself as a "blogging Langston Hughes", because my writing gives me a voice and my people a voice. Thank you.